Oh, the Horror! (see pic below)

Note: This post may not be appropriate for young children...or for Fun-Fur-yarn-lovers.


How I loathe thee, trendy Fun Fur!
Hideous, slippery plastic threads,
tangled mass of petroleum wasted
in a pompous novelty yarn of horror.

Like "slicker-binders" required in 5th grade,
with no inherent advantage, no noble goals,
except those of intrigue and slipperiness,
looking funky, and refusing to stay put.

A swift trap for needles and hooks alike
drawing innocent beginners
with artificial lushness, yelling colors,
and seeming luxury of shade and texture.

The one "fiber" in the basket
which refuses to stay wound
slinking out at night to play,
winding confusion around sleeping wools

The slick yarn beguiles trusty knitters
turning hours of work on well-designed patterns
into messy webs of fur and string
proclaiming themselves "modern."

A cold tangle of cheap knots
in flustered hands expecting more...
...more warmth, more agility, more comfort
than spun-plastic Fun Fur can bestow.